The air hostess says, "Be silent".
Sardaji says, "OK", and starts shouting "ombay, ombay".
Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what to write there. After much thought he wrote : Yes.
Two Singhs got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."
Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
The sardarji replied "OK, Five."
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street.
All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on.
The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?"
....comes the reply, "Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!"
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ".
A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander explains that a Marathon race is going on
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.
One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don`t you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?"
His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down."
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
Banta was standing at the station with Santa and son Preetu.
Preetu wanted to check his weight and he took a coin from his father and stood on the machine. Unfortunately, he could not reach the slot meant for inserting the coin. Then Banta had a brilliant idea. He lifted Preetu and helped him insert the coin.
All the three were wondering what made the Preetu weightless even on EARTH!!
A Muslim and a Sikh were once traveling together in a train. Both being from Punjab, spoke the same language and had a great time talking to each other and generally whiling away time. Came lunchtime and the Muslim took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Sikh. The Sikh was rather insulted at this impolite behavior. "What city are you from?" he asked the Muslim. "Lahore," replied the Muslim. At that, the Sikh started cursing the people of Lahore, mentioning, among other things what impolite &*@##!%%'s they all were. Being guilty, the Muslim swallowed all this in silence.
A few minutes later, the Sikh was hungry and he took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Muslim. The Muslim saw this as an opportunity for revenge. "And what city might you be from?" he asked the Sikh.
The Sikh replied, "I'm from Mecca. Start cursing!"
Q: A sardarji going to London on a plane, how can you steal his
window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the
middle row.
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SARDARJI THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the sardarji doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do sardarjis work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the sardarji do when he noticed that someone had already
written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: How do you confuse a sardarji?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't sardarjis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the sardarji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What's the difference between a sardarji and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like sardarji jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: What does a sardarji say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a sardarji a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change..
Q: What do you call 10 sardarjis standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a sardarji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a sardarji with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a sardarji in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a sardarji's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: Why are sardarjis hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a sardarji in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: Whats the difference between a sardarji and a Supermarket Trolley ?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in
six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A sardarji parade.
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A sardarji BELIEVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"
Did you hear about the sardarji that stayed up all night to see
where the sun went ? It finally dawned on him.
A sardarji was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he
saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a
minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and
drove back home.
One day, Mr. Singh gets a new born child. So he starts filling the birth certificate. At the same time, a couple who are touring India, met him and congratulated him on getting a son. Mr. Singh is very happy. The next day, the couple go to Delhi. There they find the very same Singh writing the very same form. The puzzled couple approached Mr. Singh and asked him " Mr. Singh, yesterday, we saw you at Mumbai filling the same certificate, but today you are here?" Mr. Singh replies "I came here because on the certificate it said: " WRITE IN CAPITAL."
The doctor told the sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, the sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms away from my home now."
This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai".
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai, kahin bhook se na marjaun"
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam.
For that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ...
and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"
Banta was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "
They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" asked his neighbour
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a Green one, please."
Sardarji "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
Man "It's 315."
Sardarji (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Two sardarjis are trying to measure a telephone pole. They keep trying to climb it and keep sliding down. Along comes this really big, muscle bound man and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
The two say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."
The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground, says "40 feet" and walks away.
The first sardar says to the other, "What a stupid idiot - we wanted the *height*, not the width."
One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, but unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's go in' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver".
one time santa singh go for the in interview and is asked to fill the form . on the form there is coloumn for sex . santa singh fills in 2 times a day . the stano casls him and askes him that he had miss taken the Q. it is suposed to b male or female so santa singh fills again .and tis time it is written sometimes male sometimes female.
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